Write Your Wrongs

The scene opens in dramatic fashion. Your eyes are fixated on the television while you slowly sip your Tab soda (which is gross because I am pretty sure they don’t make those anymore). An actor opens their mouth on screen and says the DUMBEST thing you’ve ever heard! WHOA HOLD ON!

Hit the brakes people… I just choked on my out of date soda and now I must rewind to see that again.

I lived this scenario recently while rewatching Masters of the Universe, yes the He-Man movie with Courtney Cox and Dolph Lundgren, and it got me thinking. What is the worst line I’ve heard in a movie? THIS movie is a contender against a couple gems from Uwe Boll’s House of the Dead. Now let me be clear, there are a lot of bad lines out there but they usually belong to equally bad movies. They don’t take you out of the movie and turn it from trash to a dumpster fire. These garbage elevating lines of dialogue are the focus. So lets evaluate.


Skeletor vs Macgver

The movie that got me thinking on this subject. Also you should note, He-Man being terrible at hiding. Watch the movie… he has a huge gun sticking out from behind a pillar. The mans a ninja.

Kevin: They came for the cosmic key, but I didn’t have it!
He-Man: Ok Kevin… but did they TAKE it?

My view:   Hmm… so the fate of the world is in your hands? I am officially scared, because you are the hero and you cannot pay attention to a two second conversation! He JUST said he didn’t have it. Get focused He-Man otherwise you can kiss Earth and Eternia goodbye. Seriously.



Not a great movie… at all. But it was entertaining to watch. There were just a couple 4th wall breaking terrible lines that made me shoot Coke out of my nose (the drink, calm down mom).

Forgettable Female Character: Why do you want to be immortal?!
Forgettable Zombie Bad Guy: So I can live FOREVER!

My view: Wait… hold on. THAT’S why? *phew* That makes a lot of sense. Here I am thinking it was for something else. Does it need to be said?! Who wrote this?!

*Honorable Mention from HOUSE OF THE DEAD:
Some Guy: We finally made it to the boat… but the boat wasn’t there!

My view: So then that means you made it to the dock… you cant make it to the boat if its not there. Its impossible. I walked outside and made it to the Radio City Music Hall but it wasn’t there… *cold stare*

Now as frustrating as these lines are… I would TOTALLY watch these movies again. These are the ultimate “grab a pizza, a couple drinks, invite some friends and have a heck of a time” movies. Does the world need a ton of terrible films that are poorly written, acted and directed? NO! It doesn’t. But a few never killed anyone, just make sure you can laugh at your poor rental choice.

If you have a favorite bad movie line or moment be sure to share with us in the comments below! Have fun and remember…



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