Hey there NARCians! I need to get something off of my chest.
Now, some movies bring you memorable and loveable characters that make their way on to T-Shirts, invade pop culture and leave you with memories of great jokes. But if you look at their role in a different light, which I do a lot and has ruined a lot of great characters, you can see the dark underbelly of selfishness and corruption. So I am here to advance my crusade and name Cinema’s Biggest Jerk.
HONORABLE MENTION: Eeyore
I feel bad throwing shade at Eeyore, I mean, how much more damage can this guy take? But there is one instance that really bugs the hell out of me. The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (you can find on Netflix!) features a story about the blustery day. In this story Owl’s house comes crashing down and the Hundred Acre Wood gang are on the search for a new home. Eeyore wanders off and finds Piglet’s home in a tree and shows it to Owl saying he could live there. Eeyore… Piglet didn’t just move in, you know him. I am sure you knew this was his house. You don’t run this idea by anyone and decide to get Owl all attached to it and for a brief moment, before Pooh saves the day, YOU made Piglet homeless because he’s so kind he gave Owl his house… his grandparents house handed down to him. Also, on top of all of that you trash it by making a snide comment about its condition when Piglet was cleaning earlier that morning. For shame.
I had pretty harsh words for Eeyore, but all in all I like him. My #1 Jerk though, I can’t share the feeling. I just can’t. No matter how hard I try. Without further ado…
Cinema’s Biggest Jerk: Grandpa Joe (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)
This guy… THIS GUY! For 20 years this man laid in a bed being taken care of by Charlie’s mother. No doubt she took care of his bed pan, wiped him, bathed him… she fed them all, because there were 3 other bed ridden relatives. Charlie finds the ticket and Grandpa Joe is up and at em’ getting ready with his hat and jacket and dances a jig in SECONDS later. And what does he say? “I” have a golden ticket, not we. He also takes a coin he was hiding in a pocket and gives it Charlie. Why not give this to the family that’s starving? Oh, it’s for your tobacco. That’s not selfish at all. Then we get to the factory and Charlie and Grandpa respect and admire Mr. Wonka, they follow the rules and watch bad kids gets possibly killed by breaking said rules. Enter the highly dangerous fizzy drink and it takes him two seconds to say “Let’s have a drink!” He almost kills Charlie in a giant fan, jeopardizes his chance at the grand prize and then when Wonka calls him out on it he wants to take the Gobstopper to Slugworth! Petty awful man. The worst.
So what do you think? Do you agree? Do you think there is someone out there that is worse? The only I will know is if you leave a comment below!
-Written by: Corey